Why do I spend more money on food than on anything else? WHY?
I am always poor but always full. This is why my friends call me The Almighty Poorfull. I am kidding nobody calls me that. They just call me The Almighty.
I want you to meet Mr. Salary, a person who taught me how to live my life to the fullest, or to the fullest belly, like we love to call it sometimes. We have an intense relationship and we share a common interest: Food. It is very hard these days to find someone who is as passionate as you about something. I cherish what I have with Mr. Salary. He is just the best. He gets me and never judges me.
A typical day:
-Me: I am hungry…
-Mr. Salary: Let’s go out!
-Me: In fact, I am not THAT hungry. I can just have an apple.
-Mr. Salary: Let’s order food then!
-Me: You do not make any sense SalSal!
-Mr. Salary: Of course I don’t! I am not real!
-Me: Oh yeah! I am talking to my self…
-Mr. Salary: OMG The Almighty! You are crazyyyy! Hahahaha
-Mr. Salary: All this laughing made me hungry.
-Me: Me too! Let’s eat!
*Story of my life*
But at the end of every month, I get sad because I have to say goodbye to my crazy-outgoing-buddy SalSal who always decides to go on a one-way ticket trip to the moon without me. The only things I have left from him are some Instagram food pictures and emotional scars. Not a single dollar left, though. (HOW do people pay their loans??)
I just sing a song to myself to feel better… (Read it while singing like Eminem. You will find it very delightful…)
“Where did all my money go?
On food bro! The food bro!
Oh yeah! I remember the pasta, the enchilada, the pizza, the tuna and also the caramelized banana. How can I forget the hamburger and chicken tenders?
Who the nugget? Who the nugget?
Ice cream, whipped cream, my cream, your cream!
Worth my money, worth my money!”
And I sleep like a baby. Try it, if, like me, you spend all your money on food.
But hey, don’t cry, you lovely reader. When SalSal leaves another Mr. Salary comes along and we both feast, for 30 days straight, to celebrate our new friendship.