​3 times I openly lie to myself

All day everyday.

I am not a liar. I am well raised and I have values.

I am a liar. I don’t care about morals and ethics.

Untitled-1

I am also bipolar.

I can’t see the lies behind my shades. That is lame… I just need a picture for the post, Okay?

1- “Tomorrow I start a diet”

I know I am not the only one. You are as guilty as me. But continue reading, maybe you will get some motivation out of this. I am kidding; you will drink tonight and have some cheese nachos… On Sundays, Cholesterol Levels and Fatty Thighs would meet and come up with an urgent plan. Then, they would confront me to tell me – while I am eating pancakes by the dozen without chewing them – that tomorrow I need to starve myself until I look less like a potato and more like a sexy shiny Burger King fry (Cholesterol Levels have a weird way of describing shapes). They are right. But, as a rational human being and in order to start proper dieting, I need to eat ALL THE FOOD IN THE WORLD JUST BEFORE, in that wau I would stop craving stuff… and, on Monday morning, I order the biggest manoucheh ever… Oh well, tomorrow I start a diet!

2- “I’ll buy this top and I will wear it when I loose some weight”

I am in Zara. I see a cute lace cropped top… I pick it up in a small size… of course… seeing clearly that it would barely fit one of my arms… But it is okay; I still have hope at this point. I get in the fitting room; I sweat my way through the top. My arms are twisted in a way I thought I never could possibly achieve (thank you Zumba, or determination, I don’t know). I ignore the cracking sounds and the lace’ cry for help. I see myself in the mirror, I look like a defeated warrior with electric hair: Have I always had a balloon belly? Weird… Maybe the store’s mirrors are not very flattering… Oh well, I’ll buy this top and I will wear it when I loose some weight! 2 years later, the balloon belly is still here, so is the tag on the cute lace cropped top…

3- “I will start saving money”

At the end of every month, I just have enough for gas and a night out! Where did all my money go? (On food mainly…) How people pay for their houses, weddings, kids… How do people save enough money to be able to write a will before they die? The only thing that would be on my will is the unworn cute lace cropped top… The most important decision I am confronted to everyday is: should I get a cheap shawarma or an expensive healthy kale&quinoa salad? The ultimate dilemma… But sadly, “I will start eating junk food everyday” is not a logical solution to save money. I need to cook more, buy fewer clothes, and go out once in a week… WHO AM I KIDDING?

Sandr

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