Weddings are great.
Yes this is my introduction. It is Friday; I have better things to do, like not writing this introduction. So lets get to the list now. Châle oui?
The girl who thinks it is her wedding but it is not
She has a big white-ish dress, big hair and make-up that started from her toes. She was preparing herself for this wedding MONTHS in advance. She manages to steal the professional photographer for some artsy alone shots. She puts flowers (stolen from the decoration) in her hair. Every song is HER song. And guess what? She catches the bouquet, and acts surprised – even though, from the way she jumped using Olympic techniques, I am sure she took Bouquet Catching 101 courses (a class I have sadly failed). SOMEONE PLEASE MARRY THIS GIRL!
The guy who came for the food
He came for the buffet. He understood the real meaning of weddings, I mean LIFE! He came ready with a plan:
plate #1: salads
plate #2: cold appetizers
plate #3: hot appetizers and round 2 of whatever he loved from the cold appetizers
plate #4: a variety of appetizers for the whole table (this guy is caring)
plate #5: hot dishes
too tired for plate #6 (that buffet table seems SO far now with a full belly). Plan B: he waits for someone to go over the food area again and ask for a teeny tiny extra shawarma wrap…
He then, tricks the waiter ($$$) into being his best friend and spends the rest of the evening with an always-full glass of whisky.
Then comes the cigar. He enjoys his time while watching the couple dancing surrounded by clapping, ecstatic, calorie-burning and cardio-enthusiast people.
The work-hard-play-hard-and-attend-weddings-even-harder people
These people are not the best men nor the bridesmaids but it seems like they are competing in some sort of BEST FRIEND battle. I wonder what goes through their minds…
“I need to carry the groom on my shoulders even though I have never hit the gym once”
“I need to initiate a dabke because I was once in a musical during pre-school”
“I will bring the bride a cup of water on the dance floor because at my wedding no one did that and I was thirsty AF”
“I will salsa dance with this beautiful lady hoping that the cameraman will film this”
“I will scream my lungs out, throw flowers, and clap hard whenever the newlyweds come near me”
“I will blow kisses whenever the camera is on me, so that the couple knows that I love them the most”
“I will take lots of pictures with my thumb up”
“I will dance with other group’s people to prove that I am the friendliest and most social one”
“I will leave the venue at the same time the newlyweds do”
“I will upload an instant Facebook album of the wedding (with mainly photos of myself posing near the house plant and some ugly and blurry pictures of the bride and groom’s faces I found on my phone)”
I am all of the above. Although, I never catch the bouquet (too lazy to have a physical strategy) and my buffet plan has a:
plate #7: DESSERTS!
P.S: Mabrouk to all 2017 couples ❤